I made a blog to vent.
I have friends & I have a social life ... but I lack the capability to show others how I feel. No you don't know who I am, my backround nor my life story. But I woke up today and felt compelled to write letters to those in my life and those not in my life anymore.
Maybe someday you'll read this, maybe you'll find who you are, maybe you'll find out who I am.
First off, I'd like to thank you so much for everything. I realize you're no longer in my life and you probably won't be again, but I've learned so much from you. It sounds cheesy, but you helped me find myself and I can't picture how life would be now if I hadn't of met you. Definitely stuck by my side through a really tough year. You'll never get to hear this but thanks for expanding my thoughts and opinions and encouraging me to do everything. You've helped me blossom and I really, really hope our paths cross again some day in the future. You're forever engraved in my memory, and I'm someday when I grow old and have children, they will be hearing many stories about you. You'll do great things and change many lives like you have mine. Best regards.
I really feel like I know you, the real you anyways. I don't feel like many other people do. You have a tough exterior but I know you're jaded. We're all jaded. I sometimes want to take you under my wing and make everything better but that's obviously not what you want. You're too much of a free bird, can't hold you down. That makes me smile though... I know you're smarter than you let on to be and even though you may think it's impossible I expect big things from you. For some reason you just make an impact on me and though we don't talk as much as we used to, I'd really like to stay in touch for as long as possible.
I've always considered myself more of a free-spirit. I never thought of myself to be the girl who would let a guy control my soul. Not literally, but you are constantly on my mind. And you have been since we started dating almost three years ago. No we're not dating any longer, and we've definitely had our fare share of flings in between, but we always come back to each other. The past six months have been the hardest, hell, I was always the one with the power. Until you became man of the year with females hanging off of you like flies, I was used to you waiting around for me. But i've felt like hell and i've watched you change and I'm not sure I like it. I'm not sure I like it but I still love you. I think I will for a very long time... but I don't want to be with you. I love you but I don't want to be tied down to you. Does that make any sense? No probably not...
